Trick Or Treat!

We had a great Halloween! The kids dressed up as Tinkerbell and Peter Pan, and they raked in the goods!

First we took the kids by Papa and Nanny's house. Then we did the old, customary Halloween tradition of TRICK-OR-TREATING AT THE MALL! Yeah, okay, so we opted out of going door to door (just doesn't seem like people get into it anymore... you end up getting 1 successful hit for every 5 or 6 tries!) With Dylan still being small, it seems easier to take them to the mall, which was promoting a Trick-Or-Treat night. And boy, did they RACK UP!

It was actually nice... we got to just walk them in the stroller, look around a bit, have a cup of coffee, and the kids saw a ton of kids in their costumes and scored on the candy!

We let the kids eat a sucker while we at the mall, and then we let them have 2 candies when they got home. THEY WERE JACKED UP! I'm surprised we got them down for the night (albeit a little late.)

Another Halloween come and gone, and Thanksgiving is next! For now, Happy Halloween, everyone... hope yours was as good as ours.



For more pictures, CLICK HERE!
 

The Great Pumpkin

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!


For more pictures, CLICK HERE!
 

Autumn Fun!

We had a great time last weekend. We went, along with Papa Bear and our friends Jeff, Amy and their son, Connor, to Cagle's Dairy Farm. There we went on a hay ride and got to roast marshmellows and play around. It was a lot of fun.

Maryn and Dylan adore Connor, and its fun to watch them together. We keep making jokes that Maryn and Connor are going to grow up and get married. We'll see, I guess.

The kids just had a blast. Its fun now that Maryn and Dylan are older to go out and do things together as a family. And its truly surprising how much I enjoy watching them experience something new.

The simple things astonish them, the amazing things seem to be no big deal. It makes you realize just how much we adults have lost the wonderment of a roasted marshmellow, or soft green grass, or the moon in the sky. As adults, we become harder to impress. But for kids, things are simple. It doesn't take a lot to "wow" them, and that's so fun.

It's great taking photos of them during these times, too. Sometimes I wonder if we're more concerned with capturing the moment than we are of being "in" the moment and enjoying it. I hope we're actually somewhere in the middle.

I hope in time we slow things down a little more, enjoy life more, and just spend more time building memories that our kids will carry with them forever.

Thanks, God, for the blessing of children, family, and friends.

Oh yeah, and roasted marshmellows and cool, colorful autumn evenings.

For more images, CLICK HERE!
 

Likely Not!

I am wondering today if the feeling of wanting to surround my children with some impenetrable shield for the rest of their lives will ever pass. The sheer volume of bad news these days is almost too much to bear. I think maybe a bubble existence wouldn't be so bad. Maybe safe in their bubble, I could simulate the ups and downs of life to provide a seemingly perfect existence. But only the major stuff like getting caught telling your first lie, stealing something to impress your friends, or finding out what it feels like to be betrayed, or not liked. But also the good stuff like your first kiss, or the feeling of success and love.

We all have to take off our rose-colored glasses at some point, I just dread the day my children do. I wish they could always see life like they see the movie, Curious George. Maryn and Dylan, neither one like the part where the burly doorman is searching for George. I know it is the look on his face they dislike. I say, "he's just very grumpy". But, Maryn tells me to "get to the happy parts". She is content to just see the good stuff in life right now and I dread the day that all the stuff that I see comes into clear view.

It is only my faith that allows me to escape a life filled with fear!

Well, SOMEONE Had to Teach Them How to Spit!

Yesterday we had a very nice day!

We started out by going to the soft-play park inside Northpoint Mall. The kids really had a great time. It was fun to see how much more Dylan was able to do since the last time we went several months ago. Last time he could barely get over the little bridge they have there. This time he was pretty much climbing on everything. And they were both doing so well getting along with others (for the most part.)

After that we let the kids ride on the carousel. Again, it was so cool to see Dylan sitting up there by himself and, just like Maryn, not really wanting Mommy or Daddy to hang on to him. Afterwards we had lunch and then everyone took a nap.

Later we went to Papa and Nanny's house, where Papa Bear and Grandmama were also there. That's when it happened: In true Georgia-style, Papa Bear showed my kids how to spit!

Step 1:
Here, he demonstrated how to chug a big gulp from their water bottle.





Step 2:
Now he shows them the proper way to bend forward, pooch out the lips and expel the water.





Now Dylan tries:









And now Maryn:









Way to go Papa Bear!

Catherine Newman

From now on all my favorite Catherine Newman blurbs will be listed under a "Catherine Newman" header. That way, if you care you can read on or just skip these and go straight to the kids stuff or my ramblings.

But after a hard week — we are sad about the untimely death of an old friend, the mother of one of my very favorite teenagers on the planet — I'm in the mood for comic relief. And I'm not getting it from the (ceaseless) rain outside, but within the house, there's no shortage. I sit in the living room with my computer, trying absurdly to write while the kids balance themselves on the back of the couch to wrap their arms around my neck and kiss my hair with their lips and kiss my hair with an X-Files Agent Scully figurine. "Do you want to go into the study to work?" Michael asks gently. And it's a sensible question, but I don't. I just want to be here, where everybody else is, where my life hums with, well, with life itself. Even if one thing leads to another, and before you know it Michael is strumming the Billy Joel "Brenda and Eddie" song on a ukulele. Then he switches to guitar, Ben joins in on his guitar, with Birdy on a plastic whistle, and they jam a rocking version of "If I Were a Rich Man" and then a serious, gorgeous rendition of the Patty Griffin song "Top of the World." There is much dancing around in underpants, and it is both silly and beautiful.

I can be so awkward sometimes, trying to create special moments as if I'm following the directions in a kit I ordered from a catalogue: we'll light this candle in this way accompanied by this feeling; we'll read this poem together and be very poignant and sober. And other times, the blessings just wash up in unbidden, unexpected heaps on the shore of my day. The trick I'm learning is not to pass them by. Not to leave this happy scene to check my email or put the kettle on. "I'm wrestling with restlessness," I said to Michael earlier this summer when we were on the beach, and he'd laughed but said, "You really are. I can tell." I'm trying not to skitter away from the sitting still or the chaos. I know it's boring to say it, so obvious that it's almost silly, but the lesson of death is that we die — which is the same as saying that we're living now. Our friend's parting command to the people she loved was: "Dance." And so we do.

I just can't say enough how she so easily captures how I feel a great deal of the time. I can so clearly see my own living room while reading her words. There is something to be said for just sitting amongst the chaos. Life lessons seem so fleeting in the mind sometimes. I wonder what the glue is that makes them stick? Too many times it seems like it is regret, guilt, or loss. That it always seems to only really click while looking behind you. I really do want to know how to live life differently in regards to this.

Special Moments

There are moments of the day when Maryn is not to be reckoned with. Generally this is within minutes of her waking up. She will quite frankly tell you that she needs her privacy. Eye contact is not permitted. Touching is completely shunned unless she initiates it. She has perfected her sleepy sad face and the amount of time she can carry it seems endless. She was in one of these moods on our way home from taking Granny to the airport. She had fallen asleep on the way there, so the fact that she missed the event alltogether probably contributed to her mood. We decided to stop and get some food on the way home which is when she woke up. Dad went in as we all waited in the car. Dylan and I both are being respectful of Maryn's need for privacy and chatting with each other while Maryn just peers out the window. I am watching her take note of a family entering the restaurant, a mom and dad and four children. She watches each one enter and then says, "that was nice". I asked her what was so nice. She had seen the dad holding the door for his family while they piled in the restaurant and she said, "that was nice that he held the door open for all of them". I agreed with her how nice that was and she said, "I'm going to try to do that". I told her what a great goal I thought that was and silently hoped that this opportunity may arise after she has been awake for at least 15 minutes, else she be the grumpy door person bringing a little grey cloud to everyone's day. "How nice to see you" she might say, followed by "move along....I need my privacy".

One of my favorite moments lately with Maryn is watching her get ready in my bathroom. Usually while I am getting ready, she will stand on the potty and "get ready" beside me. I love this because I can so clearly see a mix of Rex and I through her eyes. She first starts off with her contacts. A little dabble of saline and she plops them right in. Next comes the deodorant which she gently applies to her cheeks and forearms as Daddy and I clearly do every morning. Next comes Dad's hair gel. A little dab of that to the neck and legs, some eyeshadow applied with a Q-tip and my girl is as good as ready!

While I am blabbering on about how cute and adorable my children are, I just have to share some funny Dylan moments. There are so many as he is my child that makes it impossible to stay mad. He makes me crack up all the time and I just can't wait to see what our futures hold with him. He has this wonderful knack for imitation. When he is watching a movie he can hit cues right on the mark and it amazes me. Their new favorite movie is "The Emporer's New Groove". He loves the opening song, as he loves all music. He chimes in on the funniest parts and to hear him say, "Boom Baby" cracks us up and has quickly become the house anthem! Better still, is to watch him say "No touchy, noooooo touchy"!

Rex and I love to watch the show Rock Star: Supernova. Sometimes the kids will catch a bit of it before bedtime which I am thinking is not the best idea. Not because it's vulgar, but becuase it sends them both to the floor to mosh 10 minutes before lights out. They love music and dancing and I equally love watching them which makes it so hard to tell them to stop. Dylan totally gets into the moves and Maryn just loves to spin. I see her inventing Rock Ballet! She asked me the other day why Tommy Lee did not have on a shirt. I responded,probably too quickly, "because he is a Rock Star". I am quite sure this response in time will come back to haunt me!

Oh, For Heaven's Sake!

Ever feel like a perpetual bring-you-downer? I have a wonderful friend and neighbor who lately I walk away from thinking, did I just spend the last 20 minutes complaining AGAIN?! Sadly, yes. It is amazing to have friends and husbands that you can confide in, I feel blessed to have them. But is it really fair? It makes me want to rush back and humor them with a little slapstick. That is until I realize that I don't even know the first knock-knock joke. But since I did journey all the way back I might as well tell you about the weird rash under my arm.

Maryn and Dylan are wonderful because they can quickly escape to the sunny side of the street with no need for explanation. They just simply know that at times there are more fun places to be than in my presence. I know they are not judging me (there will be plenty of time for that later!). This weekend at the beach was all sunny and it is those moments that leave you longing for more.

I am reading a book that brought something very important to my mind. It said that as parents we should not look at our jobs as something we have to do, but something we get to do.

I am truly blessed to have my wonderful children. To be able to watch Maryn play with little broken pieces of seashells for hours, to watch Dylan running from the waves laughing, and to watch how they can make a hotel room seem like the coolest place they have ever been. I am equally blessed to be there to teach them about their emotions and how to treat each other with kindness, why sticking your finger up your nose or talking with your mouth full are bad manners. Why screaming at the top of your lungs isn't a valid form of communication. I am also blessed for my husband and my friends who stick around through the grey clouds because being together on the sunny side is worth it.

View Photos of our Trip to Tybee Island!

[From Daddy: I can't remember the last time I had such a good time with Maryn and Dylan. I wish we could have stayed longer. I'm so proud of how good my kids were, and blessed to have had that time together as a family. Love you guys!]

Tired

It would be easy to say that the constant screaming and whining is making me tired. It would definitely be true. It seems every second of the day Dylan is screaming at the top of his lungs because he can't turn the page of a book he is reading, or maybe his hair feels funny, or the booger in his nose is just out of reach. All the while Maryn is whining, whining, whining. For me the whining is a bit easier to ignore. It's the screaming that gets me. You know the kind you can hear over the hair dryer blasting in your ear two rooms away (maybe a louder hair dryer is in order).

But that's not really all of it. I am the most tired of hearing my own voice. Constantly talking, talking, talking. Get back here, don't do that, say your sorry, go to time out, do you hear me. It seems endless.

This too shall pass....hopefully before my head explodes.

YEAH!

Well, today I thought would be utterly sad, sad, sad. You see, today is the last submission of Catherine Newman's "Bringing Up Ben & Birdy", the journal I have followed now since I became pregnant with Maryn. I knew this day would come eventually and I would have to send her off, thanking her wholeheartedly for the maintenance of my sanity. Thanking her for her blessing of a book that I will surely pass on to my children.

So, I sadly make my way to read the last and final gem. Here is my favorite part:

"And so I am sitting here in my tight and sagging swimsuit. (Where is my pregnant belly? Where are my breasts spilling over with milk? These are not rhetorical questions: They are in my thighs.) And I am thinking of you. I have written about this very beach since Ben was a skipping, sunny 2-year-old and Birdy was just an erping reflux after breakfast. Some of you have been with me since then, and I am at a loss for words over this.

But what happens right now is that I'm dabbing more sunscreen on Birdy's cheeks — her flushed, smiling face is tipped up to me, and I am kissing her nose, rubbing the clown-white cream into her hairline — when I notice an older woman smiling at us from her towel nearby. And I don't know what this says about me, but the fact of her watching us — well, it helps me be my best self. When Birdy fidgets, when she grabs my hair in her sandy fingers, I don't nag or grimace — I just see us in this moment, this blessed moment of mother and child. I'm trying to tell you something here. I'm trying to tell you that because I knew you were watching, I have been a better parent. I know it's weird, but this is the truth."

As I near the end, ready to grab my tissues, I see this....www.benandbirdy.blogspot.com! Woo-Hoo is all I have to say! Oh yeah, and Thank Heavens!!!!

Am I Missing Something?

Today on my way to the dreaded dentist I heard Alan Jackson's new song "Red On A Rose". Now I like Country music but this was one of those ridiculous songs that stretches way too far for meaning. One particular lyric states, "I love you like all children love pennies". Is this a phenomenon that has somehow eluded me? I mean, I don't particularly care for pennies, but we all know the hearts of children are pure. I begin to wonder about the possibilites.

"Mommy, I don't want to go to bed!".....Here my penny-loving angel, off you go.

"Mommy, I went pee/poop!"....Oh how wonderful, here is a penny my sweet daughter.

Dylan shared a toy.....a pocket full of pennies!

What a sweet hug Dylan....penny, penny, penny!

I mean, the economic benefit alone is astounding because we all know that that penny will hit the floor and be forgotten in a matter of minutes, and that is pushing it! The recycle factor is limitless. One single penny could last you through high school at least. Maybe I should write Alan Jackson just to clarify the bounds of the penny love. Just so I don't over do it! ;)

Great Song!

If you might ever be in the mood to prematurely envision your children getting married, especially those with daughters, Heartland's song "I Loved Her First" is just for you.

I heard this on the way to work this morning and it took me to a place I'm desperately not ready for. I snapped back to reality and thanked my lucky stars that they are still 2 and 3.....but only for a moment!

New Playhouse

After 2 days in the blazing heat, myself and Uncle Wes built the kids a new playhouse and slide, adding it onto the swingset we built for them last year. The kids seem to like it, and WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE LADDER, which I THREW together, I'm pretty proud of it. Click on the photos to view larger pics.

I Truly Don't Know Why I Think Of These Things!

My mind constantly wonders into the future. I often feel incapable of remaining in the present and many of my prayers are focused on this matter specifically. As a parent, I constantly sit in wonderment about what our lives will become, which brings me to my thoughts this morning on the way to work.

Watching all the kids waiting for the bus in their driveways with dreadfully solemn looks on their faces took me back to my days in school and inevitably the age-old conversation: "How was school?", says mom. "Fine", says child who doesn't even attempt to make eye contact. The End.

I dread the idea of this daily conversation and was pondering what I could do now to make this different. Please, for anyone reading this know that I am purely talking theory and hypotheticals. I am so sure that I will read over this in 10 years and laugh my ever-lovin head off!

I believe the key for me is vulnerability. I catch myself often escaping to a private location to indulge my feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration. I feel the need to shelter my children from these moments. Maybe it is fear that their image of me as "glorious, so silly mommy" will be altered somehow. I wonder how would my kids ever feel comfortable expressing to me the ups and downs of their lives if I don't do the same with them. So, I am trying to make it a habit to verbally express to them how I am feeling and what I am going to do to make it better, or how I can just revel in my feelings of happiness. Specifically, I know my kids will learn how to handle life through me. If I don't show them all parts of my life, what will they have learned?

As I was thinking about this I felt God showing me that he needs me to do this with Him too. I have been struggling in my prayer life with being vulnerable. With expressing anything that altered from being thankful, steadfast and even-keeled. So, here is to being vulnerable! Excuse me, while I unload myself on you all! :)

I Could Not Be More Proud!

Well we did it. We spent the weekend potty training and I could not be more proud of my daughter. She amazes me and I am simply beaming.

Rex and I took a stance early on that we would wait until we knew Maryn was ready to potty train. Depending on who you are talking to this can be a popular approach or a lazy one. But, we endured the comments of disbelief that a 3-year-old was not potty trained and the ones that claimed: they're your children and we will let you screw them up however you choose. And low and behold the results are the same. My daughter is going to the potty, well at least she is peeing in the potty. And you can ask our friends, Jeff and Amy, who were over for dinner last night........she is really going to the potty! From dinner to bathtime, she must have sat on the potty 20 times. Enthusiastic to say the least!

Every parents approach to potty training is different, but I have to say that I am very happy we waited. Being able to see Maryn being so proud of herself is beyond words. She is so aware that she is crossing a threshold from being a baby to being a big girl and I am happy to make those steps while holding her hand instead of at her back pushing her across!

Kudos to you my sweet baby girl!!

Edited on 8/7/06:

I just wanted to add that a week later, Maryn is already pooping in the potty! I am so stoked! We went the whole weekend with not one single accident and we actually left the house! It was so funny sitting in the bathroom with her while she pooped. I tried so hard not to laugh when her face would turn red and she would strain to go and say, "it's just going to pop right out!"

Because she progressed through this potty training thing so quickly, Rex and I got tired of handing out prizes all day. So, we took her to the store yesterday and picked out her final prize for doing so well (a cinderella doll with accessories)and had a "Potty Party" cake.

Poor Dylan has just caught on to the process and this morning went and sat on the potty with all his clothes on. I said to him, "good boy, look how big you are". He proceeded to get down from the potty and walk directly to the closet where we kept the potty prizes and say, "treat". Needless to say, he was not at all happy when I explained that he had to actually pee or poop in the potty to get a prize. His day will come!

Sometimes I Fail

I realize that a more accurate title would likely be "On the Rare Occasion I Get It Right". I know I do not stand alone as a parent when at the end of the day I am all too aware that I have screwed up. I was irritable, I was cranky, I was unforgiving, I was brooding around with that face that makes me catch my breath if I have the misfortune of stumbling across a mirror.

With Maryn's wonderfully enhanced vocabulary she can now say to me, "mommy...don't scream at me". What this makes me realize is that I have passed on to my daughter my penchant for overexagerating. Screamed, I did not. Talked loudly, very likely on certain days.

As always, Catherine Newman knows just how to say it:

"The thing is, I am forever snapping at them and exasperated. I come after them in my awful, neurotic way with wet washcloths and hand sanitizer and sunscreen and bug spray and I ruin their lives. I nag them to finish their milk and brush their teeth and clean up the living room and be careful on the stairs and stop scratching my back with their revolting toenails. I wiggle teeth and dig out splinters and turn an appraising eye to their moles and scalps and infected bug bites and red throats. They are too loud and too wild and too whiny and too bickery and too hot to be crawling all over me like that. But still I can't get over the miracle of having them here."

Maryn and Dylan:
In the process of ruining your life may I never, ever get over the miracle of having you here!

Missing the Paci

I say this with complete love for my daughter... There is one downside to the fact that Maryn no longer has her pacifier. Her mouth NEVER stops moving!

This was the case before, but at least when we were nearing nap time or nighty-night time, it truly was a quiet, chill-out-on-the-couch moment. NO MORE. She talks, she refutes things you say, she questions you and then corrects you, she plays Devil's Advocate, she recites the Gettysburg Address... and so on and so on.

But still, we love her. Its just a new world now, that's all.

Small Confession

I have realized something recently that although I should not do.....I fully admit to. My two beautiful children are terrified of bugs. I don't know how this could have possibly happened with us for parents ;)! Nevertheless, when my kids see a bug they take off like a full-grown black grizzly bear is nipping at their heels.

Knowing this about my children you would imagine I might discreetly take care of a random house bug. What I actually do is use this to my advantage. We all need what experts call "Mommy Time-Out" right? I now get this by declaring....."BUG"! And all of a sudden I am peacefully finishing up dinner or actually using the restroom without an audience........at least for a minute or two!!

Maryn's First Night Without Her Paci... Marathon Puking!

On Friday Maryn took her gift bag, with all the thousands of stickers she applied to it, filled with all her paci's to give to the babies at her school. She was so great when we went in. She dug right into the bag and wanted to literally give the paci's to the babies. She HAD to see them in the babies mouths. I explained to her that they would only need them at nap time, in which she replied to me, "I'll wait". Of course you will. So, with some coaxing the hand off of paci's was complete and we moved on to the rest of our day, she to class and me to work.

Because of her being such a big girl, I agreed to take her to McD's to get chicken nuggets directly after our doctor's appointment for Dylan's hiney rash. As the end of the day was approaching I was getting really anxious about what I was in store for. I had convinced myself that I may not get the best nights sleep. I was somewhat hopeful because she naps at school with no paci and has since she started.

Evening comes and everything that I expect to happen...happens. She asked for it after bath and seemed fine when I reminded her. She played around chatting until Dylan fell fast asleep and then she started to cry. This lasted about 5 minutes and then she was fast asleep. Not so bad...right? Then it began.

Around 12am, Maryn woke up and had barfed all over herself. Rex gets her up and we put her in the shower. We were really thinking maybe she had just really upset herself and that was it. We let her snuggle with us for a while and I take her back to bed. As I am laying her down in her bed she starts to gag and puke again. Then, all of a sudden my quite sleeping little boy wakes up and barfs all over his bed. Needless to say we all end up in the living room on the sofas and Rex and I spend the evening catching barf. We finally get to sleep about 6am and luckily the kids slept until 10:30am. I can say with minimal certainty that I don't think Maryn will ever eat another chicken nugget. I can't say that I don't like the idea of this.

Here's the part I am so proud of. Through this night of hell, Maryn asked for her paci just once. Generally when she is sick, day or night, she will ask to have it. But only once. Today she has not mentioned it even once. I am so proud of her. Yeah Maryn!

Just so you all know, everyone was just fine this morning. Back to normal. Dylan greeted me running full steam down the hall and Maryn, in her usual after sickness state, has been clinging onto us like one of those monkey's with the velcro feet. Here's to hoping that we do not have to catch another bucket of barf for at least a couple months!

Our Son the Nudist

I put Dylan down for his nap on Saturday. He never did go to sleep. I waited and waited, but no go. I'd hear him in there talking and laughing or I'd hear the springs in his crib going as he bounced up and down. I'd march in there, tell him to lay down, cover him up, leave, and then 5 minutes later he was at it again.

Finally after an hour or so, I decided to go get him since he wasn't going to sleep. When I walked in, he was just standing up, pacifier in his mouth sideways yet a big smile on his face. He was just looking at me with that goofy smile.

I walked past his crib to get some clothes for him (since I had laid him down with only his diaper on.) When I turned around, I noticed what he was smiling about - he was butt naked. He had taken his diaper off and tossed it over the edge of the crib.

I said "What did you do?" and he just smiled bigger and made a small, sly chuckle, "Heh heh!"