Is It Over Yet?

Good Lord! This holiday season has sucked the life out of me! I mean, seriously, I feel like I have been celebrating for months. Maybe, in my current mood, this is not the best time to highlight our Christmas experience this year....but oh well! Before you start screaming ba-hum-hooey at me, I assure you I will include at least one glowing memory of our day! :)

You know the anticipation you feel when you have all these wonderful plans ahead of you? The hugging, the catching up, the watching your kids mingle with distant family kind of moments, the food, the gifts, the laughter. Well, all of that fell into a flaming pile of crap when I couldn't so much as get out of bed on Saturday and Dylan's poor little body couldn't manage to keep a fever down. Dylan (pneumonia and double ear infection) and I (general yuckiness) both spent the entire holiday weekend feeling like poop. Thankfully, Rex and Maryn are feeling good and we are keeping in our prayers that they continue to feel well for us to go out of town on Thursday to Grannies, or what I will call "Christmas: Take Ten"!

My poor Rex has been so wonderful and done absolutely everything by himself as I lounge around pouting and making small, brief attempts to act like I care. He has had to take on the role of jolly Christmas person whether he wanted to or not. We did manage to pile the kids in the car to make one more trip to look at lights before going to bed. Rex, in his way, trying so hard to make a very non-magical Christmas magical spotted a very distant helicopter. He said to Maryn and Dylan...."Hey, do you think that might be Rudolph?" A thundering "WHERE?!" came out of Maryn. And Rex said, "There, right there....See his nose?" Maryn got quite for a moment, looking out the window at the magical beam of the helicopter and said "No Daddy! Noses don't fly! They stay on our selves!!!" Credit to you honey for trying!

All in all, it has been Christmas! And there have been some very wonderful moments. The kids loved all their presents and have generally loved how things just are different this time of year. Thank you to all of our family for their prayers and understanding when we had to miss seeing you. Here's to a Happy, Healthy New Year for all of us!

Here Comes Santa Claus!

Merry Christmas from Maryn & Dylan

Click here to view this year's Christmas greeting from Maryn & Dylan.






View last year's Christmas greeting!







View Uncle Wes' Christmas greeting!

What Am I Thankful For?

Well, Thanksgiving is upon us and I am sitting here pondering all the things that make me a thankful parent. When I really stop and think about ALL of the things that make me thankful and bring me joy, the abundance is so overwhelming I wonder why I am not daily floating around on my cloud of bliss. Maybe I need to spend more time contemplating all the things that make me thankful instead of taking them for granted. It is a darn good thing New Year's is coming!

This year we made our Thanksgiving countdown turkey which Maryn is way more into than she was last year! We have the countdown rings for each day. All the rings turn into feathers that they place on the turkey each morning. And on each feather is written one thing they are thankful for. Some of the things Maryn was thankful for this year, okay I shouldn't really say this year since toddlers really have only a concept of what 2 minutes feels like, so let's just change that to the things Maryn was happy for 5 days ago at the precise moment we made our list. And they were; Jesus, Connor, Jessica & Zoe, costumes, Mommy & Daddy, Papa Bear & Grandmama, Granny & Aunt Kim, Coloring, & Charlie Brown. Some of the things Dylan was thankful for were coloring, Charlie Brown, cinnamon rolls, Connor, Jesus, Daddy (I didn't make his list this year), Papa Bear & Grandmama, Granny, and Time Out. That's right folks! Dylan obviously sees the need for discipline in his life! What a blessing that is!!

So on to some of the things that Mommy is thankful for this year:

1. I am thankful for my amazingly wonderful family!

2. I am thankful for Dylan's enthusiasm. I am also thankful that when Dylan now displays this enthusiasm while sitting in my lap that I don't get cracked in the head nearly as much as last year.

3. I am thankful for all of the kisses. Especially Maryn's very long and wet ones. It seems she is practicing for her upcoming debut as Juliet and her kisses have become very focused and intentional, with enough slobber to water a very thirsty plant.

4. I am thankful that Dylan does not hug me with limp noodle arms. He really squeezes and I totally love that!

5. I am thankful for hot dogs, chicken nuggets, microwavable Macaroni & Cheese, yogurt, and cheese sticks without which my children would starve to death.

6. I am thankful for children's medicine that guarantees drowsiness.

7. I am thankful for how much fun we have when we go out as a family. The panic attacks brought on by a clear understanding that someone was going to pitch a fit at the worst possible moment, or throw up with no warning, or have a potty accident when we left everything at home, or clearly be way past due for a nap, or the millions of other things that could possibly happen on any given day are mostly gone now.

8. I am thankful for how much my children love their school and teachers.

9. I am so thankful for the wonderful conversations that I can now have with my children.

10. I am thankful that my kids still want so much of my time and attention. Really! Most of the time I am really thankful for this!

11. I am thankful for the time I get to snuggle them in between bath and pj's when they are all damp and yummy smelling. I seem to enjoy this much more when it wasn't my night to do bath!

12. I am thankful that in Maryn's world, a hug will solve just about anything.

13. I am thankful that Dylan still has his chunky little block feet that I love so much!

14. I am the most thankful that my kids know without a doubt how very much I love them.

15. I am thankful for the peace of mind I have knowing they are God's children.

And there you have it! Happy Thanksgiving! I pray that everyone feels as blessed as I do!

Sensitivity Perfected!

Oh, my little Dylan. Our little cherub-faced boy. A harsh word can send him reeling into a pit of unknown-to-mankind despair. Sometimes he just seems so fragile, that at the moment you see it coming on you just want stop time and run in reverse.

Daddy had the misfortune of inheriting a trait where the moment a spill is evident a flash of anger comes over him. I will not divulge whom he claims is a part of this genetic disposition! :) The other day at breakfast, Dylan's cup collided with the kitchen floor. It happens, right? Well, Rex's instinct kicked in and he uttered Dylan's name a little too sharply for Dylan's taste....and then it began!

First comes the quivering lip, like a red carpet for all the sadness and devastation he can muster. He looks at you directly in the eyes periodically and then covers his face. Like he just can't bear the thought of such cruelty. The tears are spilling over and if there is anything in that moment you wish you could do, it would be to take it back. You want so desperately to take it back. Poor little thing!

What I am really loving right now is how he tells me goodbye when I drop him at school. His classroom faces the parking lot. For the first couple of weeks in his new big boy class the teacher would hold him at the window crying so he could wave goodbye to me as I drove away. Now, when he goes in he walks directly to the window, grabs a chair from the stack, and he stands there watching me walk to my car, anxious to wave his little hand. As I drive away, I can see his face from about the nose up and he waves, so happy and confident. He waves until I can't see him any longer. I head to work anxious to see his face again!

Hooray - Side Rails and Night Owls!

Well, a mere year older than Maryn was, we finally removed the side rail of Dylan's bed. He is completely open to roam as he chooses - and we completely expected him to. However, to our amazement, not only is he not roaming but he is sleeping much better. Before we made the decision, he had started waking up again on and off throughout the night. This time, however, when we would go in to check on him he would have one leg over the rail. I don't think he would have gone all the way. He always seemed to get to the point where he couldn't go any further, but he knew there was no turning back. Now, my little man insists on crawling into his bed all by himself.

But, wait, don't assume my household is completely free of night-owl toddler roaming! Yep, you guessed it! Maryn is my roamer. She has always been a great sleeper and she still is. But now she has suddenly made a habit of getting up at least once after we have put them both to bed. At first we teetered on scolding. That didn't seem like the right thing to do because we want her to know she can get up if she truly needs us or needs to go to the bathroom. So we began to thoroughly explain this to her. We say, "ONLY get up if you have to potty or it is an emergency." So, now I am going to fill you in on the latest emergency which brought her out of bed, and in her normal night-owl fashion, sliding quietly down the hallway wall towards the living room to ask a very, VERY important question.

Three days ago we had a conversation about how animals become food. This has apparently been weighing on her mind.

MARYN: Are spiders food?
RACHEL: No, honey. Spiders are not food.
MARYN: Yes they are, they are animals.
RACHEL: Spiders are bugs, it isn't the same.
MARYN: No, mom they are food.
RACHEL: Okay fine....back to bed.
MARYN: What about frogs?
RACHEL: Yes, frogs.
MARYN: Elephants?
RACHEL: Yes, elephants.
MARYN: NO, elephants are too big! Need to cut elephants.
MARYN: Probably chewy.
RACHEL: Yes, I bet you are right.

Phew! Emergency averted!!

Additional note from mommy (11-8-06): Seriously, the very night I wrote this, Dylan must have gotten out of bed 4 times!!! That will teach me to open my big ole mouth!!! :) Needless to say, he didn't seem to want very much. Rex had fallen asleep on the sofa watching the election coverage and twice Dylan woke him up by crawling on top of him. When Rex finally came to bed and told me, I thought surely he must be too sleepy to get up by now. Five minutes later, I hear the door open and shut and watch as Dylan toddles to the dark living room. I get up so he won't be scared when he realizes Daddy is not in there anymore. I talked to him for just a bit, he gives Daddy a hug and goes back to bed very easily. I realized five more minutes later that he went so willingly because he knew the game wasn't yet over. One more time and he seemed finished and we all got some sleep! I am looking forward to see what happens this evening! In all honesty though, it was a little cute watching him figure this whole freedom thing out!

Trick Or Treat!

We had a great Halloween! The kids dressed up as Tinkerbell and Peter Pan, and they raked in the goods!

First we took the kids by Papa and Nanny's house. Then we did the old, customary Halloween tradition of TRICK-OR-TREATING AT THE MALL! Yeah, okay, so we opted out of going door to door (just doesn't seem like people get into it anymore... you end up getting 1 successful hit for every 5 or 6 tries!) With Dylan still being small, it seems easier to take them to the mall, which was promoting a Trick-Or-Treat night. And boy, did they RACK UP!

It was actually nice... we got to just walk them in the stroller, look around a bit, have a cup of coffee, and the kids saw a ton of kids in their costumes and scored on the candy!

We let the kids eat a sucker while we at the mall, and then we let them have 2 candies when they got home. THEY WERE JACKED UP! I'm surprised we got them down for the night (albeit a little late.)

Another Halloween come and gone, and Thanksgiving is next! For now, Happy Halloween, everyone... hope yours was as good as ours.



For more pictures, CLICK HERE!
 

The Great Pumpkin

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!


For more pictures, CLICK HERE!
 

Autumn Fun!

We had a great time last weekend. We went, along with Papa Bear and our friends Jeff, Amy and their son, Connor, to Cagle's Dairy Farm. There we went on a hay ride and got to roast marshmellows and play around. It was a lot of fun.

Maryn and Dylan adore Connor, and its fun to watch them together. We keep making jokes that Maryn and Connor are going to grow up and get married. We'll see, I guess.

The kids just had a blast. Its fun now that Maryn and Dylan are older to go out and do things together as a family. And its truly surprising how much I enjoy watching them experience something new.

The simple things astonish them, the amazing things seem to be no big deal. It makes you realize just how much we adults have lost the wonderment of a roasted marshmellow, or soft green grass, or the moon in the sky. As adults, we become harder to impress. But for kids, things are simple. It doesn't take a lot to "wow" them, and that's so fun.

It's great taking photos of them during these times, too. Sometimes I wonder if we're more concerned with capturing the moment than we are of being "in" the moment and enjoying it. I hope we're actually somewhere in the middle.

I hope in time we slow things down a little more, enjoy life more, and just spend more time building memories that our kids will carry with them forever.

Thanks, God, for the blessing of children, family, and friends.

Oh yeah, and roasted marshmellows and cool, colorful autumn evenings.

For more images, CLICK HERE!
 

Likely Not!

I am wondering today if the feeling of wanting to surround my children with some impenetrable shield for the rest of their lives will ever pass. The sheer volume of bad news these days is almost too much to bear. I think maybe a bubble existence wouldn't be so bad. Maybe safe in their bubble, I could simulate the ups and downs of life to provide a seemingly perfect existence. But only the major stuff like getting caught telling your first lie, stealing something to impress your friends, or finding out what it feels like to be betrayed, or not liked. But also the good stuff like your first kiss, or the feeling of success and love.

We all have to take off our rose-colored glasses at some point, I just dread the day my children do. I wish they could always see life like they see the movie, Curious George. Maryn and Dylan, neither one like the part where the burly doorman is searching for George. I know it is the look on his face they dislike. I say, "he's just very grumpy". But, Maryn tells me to "get to the happy parts". She is content to just see the good stuff in life right now and I dread the day that all the stuff that I see comes into clear view.

It is only my faith that allows me to escape a life filled with fear!

Well, SOMEONE Had to Teach Them How to Spit!

Yesterday we had a very nice day!

We started out by going to the soft-play park inside Northpoint Mall. The kids really had a great time. It was fun to see how much more Dylan was able to do since the last time we went several months ago. Last time he could barely get over the little bridge they have there. This time he was pretty much climbing on everything. And they were both doing so well getting along with others (for the most part.)

After that we let the kids ride on the carousel. Again, it was so cool to see Dylan sitting up there by himself and, just like Maryn, not really wanting Mommy or Daddy to hang on to him. Afterwards we had lunch and then everyone took a nap.

Later we went to Papa and Nanny's house, where Papa Bear and Grandmama were also there. That's when it happened: In true Georgia-style, Papa Bear showed my kids how to spit!

Step 1:
Here, he demonstrated how to chug a big gulp from their water bottle.





Step 2:
Now he shows them the proper way to bend forward, pooch out the lips and expel the water.





Now Dylan tries:









And now Maryn:









Way to go Papa Bear!

Catherine Newman

From now on all my favorite Catherine Newman blurbs will be listed under a "Catherine Newman" header. That way, if you care you can read on or just skip these and go straight to the kids stuff or my ramblings.

But after a hard week — we are sad about the untimely death of an old friend, the mother of one of my very favorite teenagers on the planet — I'm in the mood for comic relief. And I'm not getting it from the (ceaseless) rain outside, but within the house, there's no shortage. I sit in the living room with my computer, trying absurdly to write while the kids balance themselves on the back of the couch to wrap their arms around my neck and kiss my hair with their lips and kiss my hair with an X-Files Agent Scully figurine. "Do you want to go into the study to work?" Michael asks gently. And it's a sensible question, but I don't. I just want to be here, where everybody else is, where my life hums with, well, with life itself. Even if one thing leads to another, and before you know it Michael is strumming the Billy Joel "Brenda and Eddie" song on a ukulele. Then he switches to guitar, Ben joins in on his guitar, with Birdy on a plastic whistle, and they jam a rocking version of "If I Were a Rich Man" and then a serious, gorgeous rendition of the Patty Griffin song "Top of the World." There is much dancing around in underpants, and it is both silly and beautiful.

I can be so awkward sometimes, trying to create special moments as if I'm following the directions in a kit I ordered from a catalogue: we'll light this candle in this way accompanied by this feeling; we'll read this poem together and be very poignant and sober. And other times, the blessings just wash up in unbidden, unexpected heaps on the shore of my day. The trick I'm learning is not to pass them by. Not to leave this happy scene to check my email or put the kettle on. "I'm wrestling with restlessness," I said to Michael earlier this summer when we were on the beach, and he'd laughed but said, "You really are. I can tell." I'm trying not to skitter away from the sitting still or the chaos. I know it's boring to say it, so obvious that it's almost silly, but the lesson of death is that we die — which is the same as saying that we're living now. Our friend's parting command to the people she loved was: "Dance." And so we do.

I just can't say enough how she so easily captures how I feel a great deal of the time. I can so clearly see my own living room while reading her words. There is something to be said for just sitting amongst the chaos. Life lessons seem so fleeting in the mind sometimes. I wonder what the glue is that makes them stick? Too many times it seems like it is regret, guilt, or loss. That it always seems to only really click while looking behind you. I really do want to know how to live life differently in regards to this.

Special Moments

There are moments of the day when Maryn is not to be reckoned with. Generally this is within minutes of her waking up. She will quite frankly tell you that she needs her privacy. Eye contact is not permitted. Touching is completely shunned unless she initiates it. She has perfected her sleepy sad face and the amount of time she can carry it seems endless. She was in one of these moods on our way home from taking Granny to the airport. She had fallen asleep on the way there, so the fact that she missed the event alltogether probably contributed to her mood. We decided to stop and get some food on the way home which is when she woke up. Dad went in as we all waited in the car. Dylan and I both are being respectful of Maryn's need for privacy and chatting with each other while Maryn just peers out the window. I am watching her take note of a family entering the restaurant, a mom and dad and four children. She watches each one enter and then says, "that was nice". I asked her what was so nice. She had seen the dad holding the door for his family while they piled in the restaurant and she said, "that was nice that he held the door open for all of them". I agreed with her how nice that was and she said, "I'm going to try to do that". I told her what a great goal I thought that was and silently hoped that this opportunity may arise after she has been awake for at least 15 minutes, else she be the grumpy door person bringing a little grey cloud to everyone's day. "How nice to see you" she might say, followed by "move along....I need my privacy".

One of my favorite moments lately with Maryn is watching her get ready in my bathroom. Usually while I am getting ready, she will stand on the potty and "get ready" beside me. I love this because I can so clearly see a mix of Rex and I through her eyes. She first starts off with her contacts. A little dabble of saline and she plops them right in. Next comes the deodorant which she gently applies to her cheeks and forearms as Daddy and I clearly do every morning. Next comes Dad's hair gel. A little dab of that to the neck and legs, some eyeshadow applied with a Q-tip and my girl is as good as ready!

While I am blabbering on about how cute and adorable my children are, I just have to share some funny Dylan moments. There are so many as he is my child that makes it impossible to stay mad. He makes me crack up all the time and I just can't wait to see what our futures hold with him. He has this wonderful knack for imitation. When he is watching a movie he can hit cues right on the mark and it amazes me. Their new favorite movie is "The Emporer's New Groove". He loves the opening song, as he loves all music. He chimes in on the funniest parts and to hear him say, "Boom Baby" cracks us up and has quickly become the house anthem! Better still, is to watch him say "No touchy, noooooo touchy"!

Rex and I love to watch the show Rock Star: Supernova. Sometimes the kids will catch a bit of it before bedtime which I am thinking is not the best idea. Not because it's vulgar, but becuase it sends them both to the floor to mosh 10 minutes before lights out. They love music and dancing and I equally love watching them which makes it so hard to tell them to stop. Dylan totally gets into the moves and Maryn just loves to spin. I see her inventing Rock Ballet! She asked me the other day why Tommy Lee did not have on a shirt. I responded,probably too quickly, "because he is a Rock Star". I am quite sure this response in time will come back to haunt me!

Oh, For Heaven's Sake!

Ever feel like a perpetual bring-you-downer? I have a wonderful friend and neighbor who lately I walk away from thinking, did I just spend the last 20 minutes complaining AGAIN?! Sadly, yes. It is amazing to have friends and husbands that you can confide in, I feel blessed to have them. But is it really fair? It makes me want to rush back and humor them with a little slapstick. That is until I realize that I don't even know the first knock-knock joke. But since I did journey all the way back I might as well tell you about the weird rash under my arm.

Maryn and Dylan are wonderful because they can quickly escape to the sunny side of the street with no need for explanation. They just simply know that at times there are more fun places to be than in my presence. I know they are not judging me (there will be plenty of time for that later!). This weekend at the beach was all sunny and it is those moments that leave you longing for more.

I am reading a book that brought something very important to my mind. It said that as parents we should not look at our jobs as something we have to do, but something we get to do.

I am truly blessed to have my wonderful children. To be able to watch Maryn play with little broken pieces of seashells for hours, to watch Dylan running from the waves laughing, and to watch how they can make a hotel room seem like the coolest place they have ever been. I am equally blessed to be there to teach them about their emotions and how to treat each other with kindness, why sticking your finger up your nose or talking with your mouth full are bad manners. Why screaming at the top of your lungs isn't a valid form of communication. I am also blessed for my husband and my friends who stick around through the grey clouds because being together on the sunny side is worth it.

View Photos of our Trip to Tybee Island!

[From Daddy: I can't remember the last time I had such a good time with Maryn and Dylan. I wish we could have stayed longer. I'm so proud of how good my kids were, and blessed to have had that time together as a family. Love you guys!]

Tired

It would be easy to say that the constant screaming and whining is making me tired. It would definitely be true. It seems every second of the day Dylan is screaming at the top of his lungs because he can't turn the page of a book he is reading, or maybe his hair feels funny, or the booger in his nose is just out of reach. All the while Maryn is whining, whining, whining. For me the whining is a bit easier to ignore. It's the screaming that gets me. You know the kind you can hear over the hair dryer blasting in your ear two rooms away (maybe a louder hair dryer is in order).

But that's not really all of it. I am the most tired of hearing my own voice. Constantly talking, talking, talking. Get back here, don't do that, say your sorry, go to time out, do you hear me. It seems endless.

This too shall pass....hopefully before my head explodes.

YEAH!

Well, today I thought would be utterly sad, sad, sad. You see, today is the last submission of Catherine Newman's "Bringing Up Ben & Birdy", the journal I have followed now since I became pregnant with Maryn. I knew this day would come eventually and I would have to send her off, thanking her wholeheartedly for the maintenance of my sanity. Thanking her for her blessing of a book that I will surely pass on to my children.

So, I sadly make my way to read the last and final gem. Here is my favorite part:

"And so I am sitting here in my tight and sagging swimsuit. (Where is my pregnant belly? Where are my breasts spilling over with milk? These are not rhetorical questions: They are in my thighs.) And I am thinking of you. I have written about this very beach since Ben was a skipping, sunny 2-year-old and Birdy was just an erping reflux after breakfast. Some of you have been with me since then, and I am at a loss for words over this.

But what happens right now is that I'm dabbing more sunscreen on Birdy's cheeks — her flushed, smiling face is tipped up to me, and I am kissing her nose, rubbing the clown-white cream into her hairline — when I notice an older woman smiling at us from her towel nearby. And I don't know what this says about me, but the fact of her watching us — well, it helps me be my best self. When Birdy fidgets, when she grabs my hair in her sandy fingers, I don't nag or grimace — I just see us in this moment, this blessed moment of mother and child. I'm trying to tell you something here. I'm trying to tell you that because I knew you were watching, I have been a better parent. I know it's weird, but this is the truth."

As I near the end, ready to grab my tissues, I see this....www.benandbirdy.blogspot.com! Woo-Hoo is all I have to say! Oh yeah, and Thank Heavens!!!!

Am I Missing Something?

Today on my way to the dreaded dentist I heard Alan Jackson's new song "Red On A Rose". Now I like Country music but this was one of those ridiculous songs that stretches way too far for meaning. One particular lyric states, "I love you like all children love pennies". Is this a phenomenon that has somehow eluded me? I mean, I don't particularly care for pennies, but we all know the hearts of children are pure. I begin to wonder about the possibilites.

"Mommy, I don't want to go to bed!".....Here my penny-loving angel, off you go.

"Mommy, I went pee/poop!"....Oh how wonderful, here is a penny my sweet daughter.

Dylan shared a toy.....a pocket full of pennies!

What a sweet hug Dylan....penny, penny, penny!

I mean, the economic benefit alone is astounding because we all know that that penny will hit the floor and be forgotten in a matter of minutes, and that is pushing it! The recycle factor is limitless. One single penny could last you through high school at least. Maybe I should write Alan Jackson just to clarify the bounds of the penny love. Just so I don't over do it! ;)

Great Song!

If you might ever be in the mood to prematurely envision your children getting married, especially those with daughters, Heartland's song "I Loved Her First" is just for you.

I heard this on the way to work this morning and it took me to a place I'm desperately not ready for. I snapped back to reality and thanked my lucky stars that they are still 2 and 3.....but only for a moment!

New Playhouse

After 2 days in the blazing heat, myself and Uncle Wes built the kids a new playhouse and slide, adding it onto the swingset we built for them last year. The kids seem to like it, and WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE LADDER, which I THREW together, I'm pretty proud of it. Click on the photos to view larger pics.

I Truly Don't Know Why I Think Of These Things!

My mind constantly wonders into the future. I often feel incapable of remaining in the present and many of my prayers are focused on this matter specifically. As a parent, I constantly sit in wonderment about what our lives will become, which brings me to my thoughts this morning on the way to work.

Watching all the kids waiting for the bus in their driveways with dreadfully solemn looks on their faces took me back to my days in school and inevitably the age-old conversation: "How was school?", says mom. "Fine", says child who doesn't even attempt to make eye contact. The End.

I dread the idea of this daily conversation and was pondering what I could do now to make this different. Please, for anyone reading this know that I am purely talking theory and hypotheticals. I am so sure that I will read over this in 10 years and laugh my ever-lovin head off!

I believe the key for me is vulnerability. I catch myself often escaping to a private location to indulge my feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration. I feel the need to shelter my children from these moments. Maybe it is fear that their image of me as "glorious, so silly mommy" will be altered somehow. I wonder how would my kids ever feel comfortable expressing to me the ups and downs of their lives if I don't do the same with them. So, I am trying to make it a habit to verbally express to them how I am feeling and what I am going to do to make it better, or how I can just revel in my feelings of happiness. Specifically, I know my kids will learn how to handle life through me. If I don't show them all parts of my life, what will they have learned?

As I was thinking about this I felt God showing me that he needs me to do this with Him too. I have been struggling in my prayer life with being vulnerable. With expressing anything that altered from being thankful, steadfast and even-keeled. So, here is to being vulnerable! Excuse me, while I unload myself on you all! :)