Irreplaceable Moments

There are moments in my life that have left irreplaceable marks on my soul. A lot of the times a memory will take over my mind because of a familiar smell or sight, but there are certain memories that just wash over me. The presence of them are so strong that I can instantly and only for a brief moment feel being in that time and place. Some of these special memories for me are the basics like first days of school, driving for the first time, going to the beach with my grandparents, getting married, and having my children.

When I lived in Philadelphia, my roommates and I would always go out to lunch after receiving our paychecks. It became a tradition and one I remember fondly. Being in that group, I always had a sincere feeling of protection and security. They had become my family at that moment of my life. When that memory rushes through me I can feel myself sitting on the deck of TGI Friday's, the warm sun washing over me. But I know that what makes it so extreme was the feeling of being carefree, not a worry in the world. As we grow into adults and especially parents, cares and worries become part of our make-up. I wish these kinds of memories for everyone, for my children, because once we become these beings that worry about what seems like everything, I don't imagine there is a way to go back to a life of being carefree or at least I haven't mastered it yet.

All of the "old people" I know ;) say that I am in the cupcake part of parenting. That I will find out sooner or later that it never gets easier. And as absurd as this sounds, I have to completely disagree with these people who have far more experience than I do. I do so with the complete knowlege that with each passing year my children will continue to transform into these perfect beings!! I mean seriously, how hard could it be to have children that actually get into their seats when you open the car door instead of bolting to the danger zone to "drive", pull down all the CD's, and spill mommy's drink while she is obviously preoccupied putting big sister into her 300-point harness around a winter jacket that seems to grow larger everyday. So much so that by the time spring finally and thankfully comes upon us it will be the size of Texas. Or really, how hard could it be to have children who's food actually ends up in their mouths and not in there hair or somehow down their shirts. Do I even need to talk about the nights of catching vomit in a bucket?

But, even if it is true, that it gets harder, I am going to continue to live my life of ignorant bliss. And now that we are officially incapable of having any more children, I am going to enjoy every second of this hectic crazy life all the while hoping and praying that each moment is making it's own irreplaceable mark on my soul.