Potty Patty Rant!

We all desperately want Maryn to be potty trained. It seems we have tried everything. Incentive charts, special potties (I think we have about 3 varieties), and treats. We have done everything but bribe her with money. Because I am so desperately ready for this moment I broke down and purchased a very highly touted on-demand potty doll. I felt this was a hopeful last resort.

I got the doll with very high hopes. I had visions of my daughter and I skipping to the potty with big broad smiles on our faces! This sadly has yet to happen and the life of Potty Patty has dwindled down to Bathtime Patty and I have now accepted the fact that I purchased a $40 bath toy.

Had I been clearly aware of the workings of Potty Patty, I likely would not have bought her. And, to my credit, if I had ever witnessed her being used by anyone, I most certainly would not have purchased her. But, what I found out after we first used Patty is that she does not "pee" unless you are squeezing the holy crap out of her leg. I can assure you that there is no way to do this discreetly. And if you get too passionate about the squeezing, her leg falls right off. What I imagine would be horrifying is apparently quite amusing to Maryn.

Maryn tried this by herself just once. She gave her a bottle and then proceeded to take her to the potty and she squeezed little Patty's leg with everything she had in her. I watch this process a little disturbed and wonder if this is the least bit confusing to her. She gave it a great attempt and seemed somewhat pleased as the "pee" came out with all the sound affects of a nearly empty bottle of lotion. Spewing and spurting along with every squeeze. It was short lived.

And now resigned to the tub what disturbes me the most is Dylan's pure delight that Patty squirts pee on his face when he bites her foot.

Oy vey! What are we going to do?