Welcome Dory Rose White!!!

Sorry Cody Parker...........we still love you!!!!!

Fun at the Georgia Aquarium!

A Little Behind.....

I have not been so good at uploading pictures! Really, it is because I am a little techno challenged and I just recently (with all my summer spare time) decided to change that. So......here are some random pics from our Father's Day lunch and some time at the stinky safari with cousins:

A Little OCD???

Or maybe a little more like Mommy than I knew. Dylan out of nowhere on many occasions will get up to shut a door that is not completely latched, or turn off a light that should not be on. He likes things to be in their place, this apparently does not apply to the many toys scattered on the toy room floor!

Yesterday, Maryn took the blanket from her bed and used it for a picnic blanket outside. I told her if she did so that it would be dirty and need to be cleaned before it could be returned to her bed and she agreed. In hindsight maybe I should not let her take such blankets outside, but I tend to sway towards not really caring about such trivial things. I may be teaching her to not differentiate between "nice things" and "thing that can go outside things", but I guess only time will tell.

It was time for bed and I grabbed one of Dylan's old bed blankets to put over Maryn since hers was dirty. Dylan, as usual, was passed out when we carried them to bed so he was not aware of what I had done.

I woke up this morning to blood curdling screaming. The kind of screaming you would make if you woke up and realized your arm fell off or you were covered in snakes. I think one of the kids must have had a really bad dream so I make my way to there room. Dylan was not in his bed. I think maybe he went downstairs and got scared because no one was there. No, the sound was much closer than that. I follow the sound and find Dylan in the closet, standing on one of those plastic 3-drawer containers that hold their dress-up clothes. Screaming and screaming and screaming! It really brought back memories quickly from his baby days. Once I got past the excruciating noise, my mind cleared and I realized what he was doing. My little Dylan had woken up and realized HIS blanket was on Maryn's bed. He had grabbed the blanket and climbed up on the wobbly, 3-drawer unit to put his blanket right back where it was supposed to be. He then apparently realized the problem with this plan: he could not reach and the unit was about to throw him right to the floor.

A totally unrelated rant from mommy:
I absolutely HATE faux pockets and drawers. I mean really, does appearance really outweigh functionality? This only comes to mind because I am wearing a pair of pants with a faux pocket and every time I see it I just get ticked off. I mean, someone literally takes the time to cut the hole there, make a nice fancy stitch and can't be bothered to take the next couple steps and actually make it a pocket I could use!? Seriously! And nothing can be more irritating than when you move to a new place and you have a basket full of stuff that is going to go in a particular bathroom drawer. You are there in the moment, getting ready to organize it all, you reach for the drawer.............and.............ARGHH.............just a useless piece of wood!!!! WHY!?

Ducky...Wucky...F............OH NO!!!!

So I shared some of Dylan's potty mouth and thought I should not leave Maryn out. We were in line at the grocery store (why do these things always happen in line at a grocery store) and she said: "Mommy, I have a rhyme! Ducky, wucky, f****!" I told her that she could not say that. She asked which one and I told her the last one. Her response was: "But, mom, I didn't call anyone a f****, it just rhymes!" I told her that yes it did in fact rhyme, but it was not a word I wanted her to say, it was a potty word. She accepted and was quiet. On the way home, apparently mulling over the episode in her mind, I hear her whisper to Dylan. "Dylan, you can't say 'ficky' it is a bad word". I told her ficky is not a bad word and she begins to try to remember what it was that she was not supposed to say so she could tell Dylan not to say it. I hear her ramble: "Dicky, wicky, ficky"! Now I have a whole new problem! She says very exasperated: "Mom just tell me what the word was"! I decline and say that I just do not want to say it. Silence follows for another 5 minutes. "Mom, just tell me"! I decline again. "Mom"!

"FUCKY MARYN.....YOU CANNOT SAY FUCKY......OKAY"!

"Okay"

In other news:
Rex has taught the kids the term "if it's yellow, let it mellow". I know we are in a water crisis and all that, but seriously....every toilet in my house is mellow and it is driving me crazy!!! There is not a single time I go to the restroom that I am not encountered by a bowl full of pee. I say to the kids flush, flush, flush! In unison they say: "yellow mellow"! GREAT!!!! The worst problem is that this has apparently opened up a one way street to unsanitary land. Somehow they think if one step can be skipped so can they all. So the scene at my house, not only am I being attacked by toilet bowls filled with pee and soppy tissue (gross...i know), I am chasing kids who seem to think they also don't have to wash their hands.

What The Hell!

Yes, this is the term I cannot get Dylan to stop saying. I have heard it a handful of times under his breath. I am not even sure where he picked it up, but there it is in perfect context the phrase that stuck. Of all the phrases in the world he could have picked up this is the one that won't go away. Figures! And just in time for Vacation Bible School no less!

The current scene at my house:

Maryn and Dylan are taking turns playing dead. I just watched Maryn do a pretty impressive CPR interpretation on her brother.

Dylan says...

At night time this is what Dylan has started to say as you are walking down the hall to go back downstairs.....

Mom or Dad: Good night you guys...I love you.

Dylan in a loud whisper: Good night...I love your heart. I love mommy, daddy, Maryn, and God. I love you and your heart!!!

And I melt!

Pre-K Graduation and Shoe Treasure and other Miscellaneous Happenings!!!

Maryn had her preschool graduation this week. Such an amazing experience seeing her getting ready for Kindergarten. It was a strange experience walking out of the doors after graduation knowing she would not be going there anymore. I don't think I realized the gravity of it until I was there in it. I starting looking around thinking....she won't see these teachers anymore, a lot of these friends she will never see again, the preschool playground will become a distant memory. We took one last run on the paved runway by the parking lot. Something she always wanted to do with her friends after school and often allowed to do by exasperated moms just wanting to get home and start dinner. The family picnic is next week and I am going to do my best to get as many addresses and numbers as possible so I can try to keep her connected. I know she will miss them.

So much has happened in the last couple weeks that sitting here now, having failed to blog about them when they happened, I find that my memory is eluding me. I also find that I feel a bit guilty about the things that I can blog about. Maryn makes it so easy because she is so vocal. Dylan is more of a physical comedian and I have a harder time doing him justice by writing his crazy antics. I was watching him get ready in the bathroom today and it just dawned on me that I will just have to get a video and tape him because he has to be seen to be believed. He is an absolute nut!

I cannot wait to see the things that happen in Dylan's life when he begins pre-K. A lot has changed in the last month. I no longer am working my full-time job. I took a position at Cherokee Christian where Maryn and Dylan will go to school. This has given me the opportunity to be home with them all summer and I am so scared and excited!!! I am so thrilled about the time and fun I think we are going to have, but a touch fearful that this summer will be a bit spoiling to them and make if difficult to begin school again when the time comes. This will be the first year that Dylan is completely on his own. His best friend will not be in pre-K with him and Maryn and mommy will be in a completely different place. It will be interesting to say the least. But for now, I am just going to focus on summer and have a great time.

In Maryn's last couple of months at school she began coming home with her shoes filled with tiny items. Items that, had you been with her, would have been the things you insisted she not touch. Every afternoon she would get in the car and peel off her shoe to display this strange collection of fuzzy balls, bottle caps, random confetti, etc. I would ask her if that hurt to have all that stuff in her shoe. She assured me that it did....very much, but that it was important to protect the treasure. Silly girl!

We were going to bed the other day and she asked why we did not close their bedroom door. I explained that we didn't need to when it was just us here and that doors were for privacy. She asked if we could close the door in the mornings and I asked why. She said that if a door did not get to do what a door was supposed to do that the door would be sad. Very thoughtful girl!

Did I mention how excited I am about the summer? Maryn and Dylan have become neighborhood social butterflies. Every afternoon they can be found romping the backyard with local kids. I love to hear them interact and have fun with them. Dylan has especially come out of his shell in this area the last couple months. He makes friends easily, he shares his toys, he wants to make sure everyone has a snack and a drink. He is the cutest little boy on the planet earth!

Happy, Happy Summer!!!!

To My Daughter, Maryn, on Her 5th Birthday

Has it really been 5 years? My sweet little girl is 5 years old?

I'm so happy and yet devastated at the same time. I love you so very much, and time is passing by so very fast, it seems!

You are such a big girl. You are so incredibly smart and creative. I've always known you were smart. People have always made comments about your intelligence since you were very small: you'd lay in your crib and amuse yourself rather than crying; you've always watched people very closely and quietly; you ask questions that are so surprising and "deep". But the creative side of you is still a recent thing, and it's so fun to watch. Your Granny is so creative, I'm somewhat creative (although it fades more and more from lack of practice), and your mommy is very creative, yet doesn't give herself much credit. Suffice it to say that you come by it honestly, and it's wonderful to see it. I hope we continue to support you in developing that part of you. I say "we", but I'm very thankful your mommy has taken the lead there (after all, I can't stand to see Play-Doh of various colors all glumped into one brown color!)

I had no idea what fatherhood would be like when you came into my life. I was in awe of you when you were born. You were mine. God had given you to your mommy and I, and I was certain of that. When we put you in the car to bring you home for the first time, I drove so slowly - every bump was a threat to your comfort and happiness! In every car was a driver who had no clue as to the precious cargo I was carrying and therefore had to be watched very carefully and avoided at all costs. If I could have called in a police escort to take you home, I would have!

As you have grown, I have realized just more and more the incredible responsibility I've been given. I realize just how much I can play a role in who you become one day. I realize how I treat you and how the relationship that I cultivate with you will have a bearing on every relationship you ever have, including that of your future husband. I also realize how much of a role I play even now in your confidence, self respect and most importantly, your ability to know, love and follow our Lord and Saviour. WOAH!!! Me, really?

I realized recently that I don't know any woman - any that I'm close to - who had a good relationship with their fathers growing up. That includes your mommy, your Aunts, your Granny... the list goes on. I was amazed by that realization, and saddened. Looking at them from that point of view, I can see where some of the trouble in their lives came from. That's not to say they wouldn't have had trouble - we all run into hardships in life. But there are certain things that I can see stemmed from the fact that they either didn't have a relationship with their fathers or didn't have a good one.

I pray that I do the best I can for you. That you always know I love you, and that you always know that I support you. I hope I never let you down in this way.

Princess Maryn, your laughter and your smile melts my heart. You have this genuine ability to smile so big and so true, and it's the most honest thing I've ever seen.

You catch me off guard with your insights - things you notice that I don't expect you to or that you've thought about and then formulated into questions that I wouldn't think you could have come up with on your own.

When we're in public, I beam with pride because you're so polite, so respectful and everyone always thinks you're so smart.

Today you're 5. I can't believe it. In the fall you'll start Kindergarten. I fear the days and years will just speed right by me at that point. I worry about people you'll meet in school, other friends you'll make, good attributes you'll pick up and bad. I shouldn't worry, right? But I do. You're my little girl, and you fill a place in my heart that no one but you can fill.

Maryn, I love you so very much. I hope you'll always call me, "Daddy" and I hope you'll always know how much I'm crazy about you. And I hope you'll forgive me in advance for being too overprotective, too judgemental of future friends, and too critical of future boyfriends. And at the end of the day, I hope you'll always know you can count on me, through thick and through thin.

Thank you for being the amazing little girl you are!

Love always and forever,
Daddy

To My Son, Dylan, on His 4th Birthday (Belated)

I hate that I'm writing this over a week after your birthday. I just got caught up with all the goings-on, work, etc. Better late than never, though...

What can I say about you, Dylan? It is simply amazing to me how much I love you. It is crazy how much your little face and your many silly expressions can light up my whole life.

I remember when you were born - I was beaming with pride. I couldn't believe that I had a son. And yet, I was so far from really understanding the full depth of what I would feel for you in time. I had no way of knowing just how much you would touch my life.

Perhaps this is nothing new - the feelings a father has for his son. I imagine that most men feel this way about their boys. Maybe no one talks about it, because I certainly had no clue of what I was in for.

When I was a boy, there was always something special about being with my dad. And I knew that it was special to him. Not because he did a lot of things with me and my brother, Howie. In truth, we didn't do that much. But I knew that Dad was happy when we were there, even if we were in the other room playing and he was watching TV. I knew that if we were riding together in his truck, he was beaming with pride. I just always knew that he cherished his sons - my brother and I.

My grandfather had died when Dad was just 17. Dad adored him, and growing up I could see where there was some connection there that I wasn't able to fully understand; somehow my dad felt closer to his father when he was with us (my brother and I.) Or maybe it was that he felt he was honoring him when we were together. In truth, I'm not sure what exactly it was; it could have been a complex combination of many feelings and emotions. But I'm certain that it was a God-given emotion, and that fatherhood is a God-given, joyous blessing.

Now that my father is gone, it amazes me just how much I do feel closer to him when you're around. I feel like I understand him more because I can relate to him more; things I saw in him, responses he had to things I did, both good and bad; his joy in our conversations and our times together; his struggles, too. I feel like I understand them because I experience them, as well, and therefore I feel close to him even though he's gone. And seeing you each day, my boy, is one of the biggest joys of my life because you convey so many things to me in your mere presence. Blessings, pride, joy, heritage, nostalgia, hope, bewilderment... the list goes on. All of those things and more you give to me.

You are such a sensitive soul, and I realize sometimes just how delicate it is when you do something and I react the wrong way. I have this immediate response sometimes, just as my father did, when you do something like spill a drink on me (this happened the other day.) I'm always acutely aware of what I must look like (because I know it's my dad made over) and yet have no control over it sometimes. My eyes get so big, and I get this angry look on my face like, "How dare you!" And what eats me up inside is that your little face immediately looks to mine to read the situation - to see whether I'm mad or not; whether you have a need to fear; whether it's "okay". And too often I have that bug-eyed, angry expression. As soon as you see it, your lip starts to quiver and you step back really quickly. You start to cry and I haven't said a word. And then I'm so ashamed.

You love hugs. You could hug all day, I think. And I love that. I come from a long line of huggers, and you my son will definitely be carrying on that trait as far as I can tell at this point. You love kisses, and you say, "I love you, Daddy" all the time, and yet still not enough for me. It's the best sound ever!

You're silly, you're goofy, you're sly, you're funny, you're sweet, and you've mastered all of these skills within the art of manipulation. You play me like a fiddle, sometimes. Sometimes I'm blind to it, and sometimes I let myself be played a little. You're just so hard to resist.

I love it when we're riding in my car and listening to "Rock-n-Roll"... you see if I'm going to bang my head or tap on the steering wheel, and then you do the same. I love it now that you like to wear hats... how silly that something like the two of us wearing ball caps makes me feel close to you. And how wonderful, too!

I have such hope for you in the future, but I also try to realize that only one thing really controls that: God. After that, I do have some control in the fact that it is my job and your mommy's job to raise you. That will have a bearing on the decisions you make in the future and the life that you will lead. I pray all the time that God gives us the wisdom and the heart to do our jobs in a way that is pleasing to Him. And I pray ultimately that God guides your steps and your heart.

No one on this planet can fill the spot that you've made in my heart... that's a place that is yours and yours alone. And I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a blessing from God. But I'm so very grateful.

You're 4 years old and the time is ticking by so fast. You're no longer my "baby boy", but rather my "little boy". I'm equally excited to see you grow up and sad that you're growing up.

I'm rambling on, I know. I'm still astonished at the emotions I have for you and around the mere idea of you. I'm not sure how I could ever put all of those feelings into words, so I won't try anymore here.

Suffice it to say that you, son, are loved by me, your proud father, more than you could ever, ever know. Happy Birthday (belated.) :)

All my love forever and ever,
Daddy

Conversation with Maryn & Dylan

I don't always get up on time. I am trying to be better at this because I know by putting myself in a situation to rush it is not only affecting me, but everyone else as well. Today was supposed to be a morning of utter change and positivity. I was to get up at 5am, go to the gym, have a perfectly prepared and organized morning. At 7:15, as I wiped the sleep from my eyes and nudged a sleepy daddy, I said to myself...."Let's try this again tomorrow shall we! No, no...I don't hate you....you tried your best.....really you did. I saw how you turned off all three alarm clocks you set! That was hard work!....Tomorrow I just know you will succeed! Chin up you rock star!"

I don't think many kids do well with a fast paced morning. Mine are no exception. Usually if I am in a hurry, I try to convince them that I am getting them dressed in their rooms because it is oh so cold downstairs and I just cannot bare the thought of presenting them to such an environment. As I am moving around their sleepy, ragdoll bodies their impression is that it is only out of pure love that I would put them through such torture. As I am doing this I also try to impress upon them how awesomely cool it would be to have our cold dry cereal in baggies and.......get this......actually EAT IT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!!!! I know.....I AM the best mom ever!!!

Maryn is what people have called "scary smart" and I totally believe she has caught on and is appeasing me by buying into everything I am saying. Dylan, not so much. He is not happy about this at all.

As I am trying to get him dressed, he is whining, pouting, and rolling around on his bed making it virtually impossible to help him with his pants. I decide to give up and go to the one that is patronizingly compliant which makes Dylan only more angry that I have left him and refuse to be a part of his "Check Out How Angry I Can Be" episode. I end up having to give him a pop on his bottom for an ugly attitude he is giving me, which makes Maryn start to cry a little. I explained to her and him that the way Dylan was acting was unacceptable and that it was his choice to change the behavior, the rest goes as follows:

Mommy: Dylan, you need to take a good look at yourself and the way you are acting and figure out how you should be acting so we can finish getting ready.

Dylan: "I CAN'T"

Mommy: Yes you can, and you will

Dylan: "I CAN'T"

Maryn: Mommy, I think he means he can't look at himself

Dylan: "I HAVE A HEAD"

Maryn: He means he can only see you on the outside...not the inside of his head...we can't really see our insides

True Love's Kiss....

The kids and I went to see the movie "Enchanted" tonight and I highly recommend it. Very cute movie with quite enough action for little boys too. On the way home, Maryn told me that Dylan (not her brother she kept reassuring me) was her True Love's Kiss. Dylan is one of her friends at school that she has already mentioned on occasion that she will marry. I asked her why she thought Dylan was her True Love's Kiss and she said because he had a nice toy room and a pretty house. Fair enough. She said she is going to tell him when she gets to school. Dylan chimes in that he really does not want to talk about this right now.

He then changes his mind and decides he wants to marry mommy!

Maryn was flabbergasted by this and said, "You can't marry mommy... her True Love's Kiss is daddy! Rex Leamon White the 3rd!"

She goes on to tell me that she is going to be a farmer and that she hopes Dylan likes this idea. She asks me what cows eat. I tell her grass. She likes this because she knows she does not have to supply the grass so that seems easy enough. Then she remembers that horses eat hay, and this seems doable. She gets very excited when she remembers that Dylan (not her brother she reminds me again) likes pigs! She asks me if I will drive her and Dylan to find her house with the pigs. I agree to this and she says she will tell me when she sees the best one. Then she decides it will be Granny's house.....not the new one she says but the old one. She is very pleased with this and we begin to discuss chickens and their basic needs. She is worried that she will not be able to tell the right time to take the eggs before they become baby chickens and asks if I will live there and help (like I know anything about chickens!!) and of course I agree. Dylan then decides that he will marry Emely (a schoolmate and neighbor) and is very happy with this decision and Maryn invites them to live in her house of pigs with the rest of us.

And we all lived happily ever after!!!

Maryn Said...

Last night when we were putting the kids to bed the following conversation took place:

Maryn: "Could you sing me a bedtime song."
Dad: "Sure."
Maryn: "Maybe 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' or 'Who let the dogs out?'"

Rex and I just cracked up and could not help ourselves but to oblige this very strange request ('Who let the dogs out?' of course!)

Oh Yeah.....

I forgot to mention that we got snow this year......YEAH!!! It was so much fun playing and watching the kids!

Our little snow-woman

What's left of our little snow-woman 3 days later

And we also got a new kitty. We have had some bad luck with pets so far. Our last little kitty, Sammy, ran away. We just could not keep him inside. It became clear that he had an outdoor background. I found our new kitty on Craigslist and he was old enough to be able to find out enough about his background to realize he would be perfect for us. The kids named him, Cody Parker: part surfing penguin and part Spiderman. He has the greatest personality and does not hide when people come to visit which I love. He is the biggest snuggle bug!

Next step will be a doggie, but I want to make sure I am home more before we take that step.